A Guest post by Sebastian F.

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Introduction

Today, we are pleased to share a special guest post from Sebastian. Sebastian* has kindly agreed to share his personal experience of what is often called the “dark night of the soul”—a deeply personal and sometimes difficult journey.

Sebastian is the oldest of three siblings. From a young age, he learned responsibility and resilience. Over the years, he has faced challenges: difficult colleagues, small and large injustices, and moments of quiet despair. But he has also had unexpected encounters with a deeper reality he never imagined.

In his post, he shares how he first sensed God’s presence, how it brought moments of happiness but also heightened awareness of the struggles and flaws in others, and how he continues to navigate life with this awareness. We are grateful that Sebastian is sharing his story here.

Guest Post by Sebastian

Early Responsibility
I am the oldest of three children. From a young age, I had to take responsibility—sometimes more than a child should. Looking back, I see not only the challenges but also the lessons: patience, perseverance, and learning to listen. My family did their best, and I learned that growth often comes alongside struggle.

Work and Questions
As a young adult, I threw myself into work. I thought building a career would bring stability. But soon, I realized it wasn’t that simple. In almost every company, there was “that one colleague” who made life harder. Small injustices, envy, misunderstandings—they wore at me. I began asking questions I had never asked before: Why is there so much pain? What is the point of all this effort if obstacles keep repeating?

An Unexpected Moment
Then something unexpected happened. One day, during a lunch break, I sat alone on a park bench. Suddenly, everything became still. My mind cleared, and I felt something bigger than myself—something like the presence of God. I had never been very religious, but since that moment, I have been certain: there is something that touches us, softly, sometimes barely noticeable, sometimes like a gentle light. In those moments, I feel happiness and deep peace.

Seeing Clearly
Life afterward did not automatically become easier. Suddenly, I saw the world more clearly, and that wasn’t always comfortable. I noticed injustices, hardness, and unkindness—even in small moments. Recently, for example, a young intern in our company had a good idea, but the manager presented it as his own. Everyone applauded the manager; the intern stayed silent. I felt anger, sadness, and helplessness all at once. I could do nothing to change it, yet it stayed with me.

Carrying Awareness
I cannot and do not want to fully withdraw from life. I want to live, work, and love. But carrying this clarity takes energy. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes, just for a moment.

Finding Words and Comfort
During this time, I came across an old book by John of the Cross: The Dark Night of the Soul. His words struck me deeply. I realized that my pain, my inner unrest, and my awareness of others’ mistakes—perhaps these are not flaws, but part of the path. That one can suffer without despair, and see without judgment.

Seeking Small Moments of Presence
Since then, I try to seek moments of presence in small ways: conscious breathing, a short prayer, a minute of silence, or an honest conversation. It helps me endure the chaos without being consumed by it.

I found this blog, and it has helped me in ways I can hardly describe. I wanted to contribute because I believe my experience might resonate with someone navigating a difficult period themselves.




Blog Conclusion

Sebastian’s story shows how closely pain, awareness, and small spiritual experiences can be intertwined.

If you have a personal experience you would like to share, we welcome guest contributions. You can reach us anytime via [contact form/email]. Every story matters—your voice can give courage and hope to others.

* "Sebastian" is a pseudonym used to protect the privacy of the guest contributor. We thank him for his courage in sharing such a personal story.

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